Your baby has arrived and you may be at home recovering – now what? A lot of planning goes into getting the nursery ready and working out a birth plan, but once the fourth trimester is here, you might be struggling and feeling a lack of ‘the village’ around you.
While having a group of friends and family to call upon in those weeks would be the ideal, for many it’s not always realistic.
Many parents are turning to using a mix of family, friends, community services and paid care to make up for a lack of village.
Why you might need support in the fourth trimester
Support in the first few months after a baby is born is crucial. Research showing that mothers who are better supported by family, friends, or other support in the postpartum have better mental health and overall recovery.
While practical and emotional assistance can help buffer the effects of postpartum stress, research in Health Psychology Open shows the levels and quality of support for many new mums is inadequate.
As a new parent, you may deal with the arrival of their baby along with work and keeping a household going. For tired parents, finding support to lean on can be tricky without family around. It’s important to both be involved in planning, preparing and working out who can do what.
This need is finally getting some attention, with a wide range of services now available for parents who want to build their own support system and fill the gap in post-partum care in the fourth trimester.
Post-partum support services to consider in your planning
Get support to run your house
- Cleaner – getting someone in even once a fortnight can help you feel on top of things. Ask around for a referral and get them to concentrate on those areas that ill make the biggest impact – ie the kitchen, bathroom and floors.
- Washing – some house helpers can also help with washing, or you might have someone locally who takes in washing and ironing.
- Help with meals. Your freezer stash of pre-cooked meals can quickly dwindle in those hazy months of the fourth trimester. To get you through, consider ordering some meals in through a service, or something like HelloFresh to keep things simple. If outsourcing isn’t in your budget, consider organising a schedule where friends, family or neighbours take turns dropping off home-cooked or delivered meals during the first few weeks.
Helping with the baby
- postpartum doulas – many might think doulas are only there before and during the birth but more are now offering support for after. This can include bringing or cooking food, helping to tidy up around the house and holding the baby and taking them for a walk while mum sleeps.
- lactation consultant – for people struggling with feeding, having a consultant visit you at home can be helpful to discuss any issues and provide support in some tough times. Further support can be found from the Australian Breastfeeding Association.
- Night Nanny or Maternity Nurse – for those who can budget for this, a qualified professional can come and help you with settling a baby so you can get some sleep. This service can be extremely helpful for single mums, those who don’t have family nearby or if a partner works night shift.
- parent groups – If you can, attend the post-natal parenting classes put on by your local community health centre. These usually run through practical ways to care for your baby and allows you to talk to a midwife and fellow new mums and dads.
Care for mum
- respite retreats – if you need extra support in the days following birth, there are a number of specialised places you can go with your baby to rest and recuperate, including Borne in Sydney and Homb in Melbourne.
- clinical care like visiting an osteopath or women’s health physiotherapist regularly to help in your recovery. In recognising the specialist care required for women post-partum, clinics like Juno Specialists in Melbourne have assembled a team of health experts to assist women after they have their baby.
- emotional support, including Pregnancy, Birth and Baby – a national Australian Government service
Planning support with a small budget
Outsourcing or paying for support might not be accessible for everyone in the post-partum period.
When planning for the fourth trimester, think about those areas that would make a big difference to you – whether that’s help around the house or food preparation. It’s also important to prioritise clinical care if you require it after birth to help in recovery.
| What I need help with | What to arrange | Back up option |
| Housework | A cleaner to come in once a month | Share duties with your partner if you can, ask a family member to come and help with the washing. |
| Help with dinner | Use a service like HelloFresh once a fortnight to make a few meals easier. | Stock up the freezer as much as you can before the baby comes or ask some friends to drop meals over if they can. |
| A bit of everything | A doula for the number of sessions you can afford so they can help with some house tidying, cooking and holding the baby so you can get some rest. | See if you can arrange for family and friends to come over and do some of these tasks to help you out. |
Whether you’re planning for the fourth trimester, or you’re already in it, start by choosing one support priority from your list